EddieSnipes.com Photography
Nov 01
by eddie.snipes in Uncategorized 2 comments

Back Online!

Four years ago, my website was taken over by a squatter. I have been trying to get it back each year. This year the domain expired. When I got the alert, I bought it back.To be honest, I never thought I’d own a domain with my name again. Now I’ll start rebuilding it. Drop me a line if you are an old visitor from days gone by!
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Oct 15
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Stupid People??

Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one. Colossians 4:6 Have you noticed that the roads are filled with stupid drivers? Everyone thinks every other driver is stupid. But not us. It’s ‘those people’. What makes people stupid drivers in our eyes? They interfered with us on some level. The same holds true for the above statement in the humorous picture, “The hardest part of my job is being nice to stupid people.” Who are the stupid people? Those who interfere with us on some level. They may be new and don’t know their job well, or have skillsets that don’t match the roles they are put in. This may seem like a petty rant, but consider the words of Ephesians 4:29Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. The word corrupt means: poor quality, worthless, or rotten. When I call my co-worker a stupid person, am I speaking that which edifies, or that which gives an image of poor quality? Here is why this is important. First […]
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Oct 31
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Humpty the Rock Star

WRITTEN BY: EDDIE SNIPES – OCT• 31•16My parents weren’t fans of cheaply made Halloween costumes. I’d look at the pictures of Superman and beg to buy one of these costumes so I could look like that on Halloween. Instead, Mom would decorate me with varying household objects. One year I was to be Humpty Dumpty. Mom pulled out a pair of Dad’s long-john underwear and grabbed some pillows. I stepped into them and she stuffed me until I bulged. I looked in the mirror and sneered. I wanted to be Superman, not a tick wearing thermal underwear. “You look good,” Mom said. “Everyone likes Humpty Dumpty.” It was a chilly night, so Mom insisted that I put a cap on my head. “Humpty doesn’t wear a hat,” I protested. “It’s cold, so you have to wear something on your head,” she said. I pouted. That didn’t work, so I cried. Mom sighed and went to the closet. She returned, pulled off my hat, and plopped a wig on my head. “Humpty Dumpty doesn’t have hair,” I wailed. “He did when he was your age,” she said. “Now get in the car if you want candy.”My cousins were loaded in my […]
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Sep 13
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Next Bully, Please

WRITTEN BY: EDDIE SNIPES – SEP• 13•16 Ididn’t enjoy fighting, but sometimes it’s the only way for boys to resolve their differences. One of my best friends began as a bully that I tired of appeasing. It took two fights to convince him. He was sure the first one was a fluke, plus he had to defend his pride. On the second fight, I managed to land a hit hard enough to break his nose. That ended the battle for good. His dad called my parents and demanded we pay for the ER visit, but after a lecture from my mother about his bullying, and a reminder that the second fight began when he came after me in my yard, the amateur bill collector decided to wave the fee as a one-time courtesy. A few weeks later, when I came inside for the evening, my mother said, “Isn’t that Dale? You are playing together?” “Yes,” I said. “We’re friends now.” Such is the social order of the male. What looks like fighting is often actually male bonding. From that time on, we were inseparable. For the next five years, we did everything together, until his father took a new job […]
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Mar 16
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Honk if you love Sunrise Services

WRITTEN BY: EDDIE SNIPES – MAR• 05•16I’ve shared this before, but now it’s an Easter tradition. Enjoy the joy of childhood memories! It was Easter morning. My mother flicked on the light in my room and shook me awake. I tried to bully the sleep from my eyes with my fists, but when I saw the dark purple sky outside,I pulled the covers over my head and rolled over. My snoozing was snatched away when my mother returned, pulled off the covers, and forced me into action. I was seven years old, and my sister was eight. We dragged ourselves to the car, grumbling about being tired. Easter sunrise service was not as exciting as catching a few more winks of sleep. How could we sing praises to the Lord with a merry heart, when we didn’t even have the energy to sit up? My mother relented, tossed a couple of blankets into the car, and we were off to church. A piano, pulpit, and the choir gathered behind the church on a precipice that overlooked a pasture. As the service progressed, the sun rose over rolling hills, providing worshipers with a picturesque view behind the preacher. My mother placed […]
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Jul 12
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Daddy’s Feet Smell Like Roses

WRITTEN BY: EDDIE SNIPES – JUL• 12•14When my oldest daughter, Emily, was four years old, I had an idea. I had a wonderful, awful idea. I taught her that daddy’s feet smell like roses. Being a man of equality and realizing that every action needs an equal and opposite reaction, I decided to prep her for the obvious follow up question: what about momma’s feet? If daddy’s smelled like roses, then the opposite must be to stink. After a brief session of higher education, I paraded her into the living room. “Emily,” I said, “What does mommy’s feet smell like?” “Mommy’s feet stink,” she proclaimed with confidence. “My feet don’t stink,” my wife protested. “We’re not done yet,” I said. “Now what do daddy’s feet smell like?” “Daddy’s feet smell like roses,” she announced. Sniff Her performance brought a tear to my eye. I looked to my wife, and it brought a roll to her eyes. She went back to her book, not half as amused as I was. Women just don’t grasp the humor of these types of situations. Who knows why? A few months later, we had a family Christmas party, and my daughter was walking by. It […]
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Dec 21
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Death of a Christmas Tradition

WRITTEN BY: EDDIE SNIPES – DEC• 21•11 I knew it wasn’t going to be a happy day when I walked into the mall. Weeping children passed, ushered away by parents with hollow expressions. A crowd pressed into the police tape, craning their necks, and trying to get a view of the Christmas horror at Santa’s Workshop. I pushed through the crowd and flashed my badge as I ducked under the yellow tape. Elves in green hats huddled together, occasionally taking a peek toward the big man’s workshop. Wails and chatter filled the air. A particularly stout elf paced around with his hands on his head while babbling between his sobs. He sounded like a chipmunk on espresso, and I couldn’t make out a word he was saying. A police officer was kneeling down beside a fat man in a red suit. He wrote faster than a secretary in a board meeting. The officer in blue looked up as I approached, and I said, “What do we have?” “We’ve got a 187. Probably started as a 211, but might have been a 217. There are reports of a 653M before—” “Stuff those lottery numbers back in your pocket,” I said while […]
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Aug 19
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Cat’s are a feline’s best friend!

WRITTEN BY: EDDIE SNIPES – AUG• 19•11 A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… They must be Gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… I must be a god! A note left on the table: How to wash a cat. Sincerely, The DOG The Laws of Cat Physics Law of Cat Inertia A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force – such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse. Law of Cat Motion A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction. Law of Cat Magnetism All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric. Law of Cat Thermodynamics Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat. […]
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Aug 15
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Funny dangling and misplaced modifiers

Animals do the strangest things. Reading a book, my cat crawled into my lap. While reading the newspaper, the cat jumped on the table. The young girl was walking the dog in a short skirt. The dog was chasing the boy with the spiked collar. The hunter crouched behind a tree waiting for a bear to come along with a bow and arrow. The woman walked the dog in purple suede cowboy boots. We saw dinosaurs on a field trip to the natural history museum. The guest speaker had dedicated his new book to his dog who was an archaeologist. (And I thought my dog was smart.) We saw several monkeys on vacation in Mexico. The library has several books about dinosaurs in our school. A tarantula bit one of the dockworkers that had a hairy, huge body. (Maybe the guy looked like a rival.) I glimpsed a rat sorting the recyclable materials. While doing the dishes, a mouse ran across the floor. We saw several blue jays looking out our front window. Strolling hand in hand to the farm, the young bulls broke out of the field and headed toward us. (Maybe they wanted to expand their circle of […]
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Jul 02
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Funny quotes about writing

WRITTEN BY: EDDIE SNIPES – JUL• 02•11Here is a collection of quotes about writing. I don’t know the source, but some of these have a bit of truth. Copy from one, it’s plagiarism; copy from two, it’s research. Everywhere I go I’m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don’t stifle enough of them. Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure. People do not deserve good writing, they are so pleased with bad. Television has raised writing to a new low. Only a mediocre writer is always at his best. With sixty staring me in the face, I have developed inflammation of the sentence structure and definite hardening of the paragraphs. The difference between the right word and almost the right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug. A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor. I just wrote a book, but don’t go out and buy it yet, because I don’t think it’s finished yet. When he killed a calf he would do […]
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